The New Romantic

“I miss living on the west coast. Would you ever consider moving with me?”

“California? Fuck no. America is a hell hole, or have you not been reading the news for the last seven years?”

“Just because there’s lots of bad stuff going on doesn’t make it a hell hole.”

“I could literally show you like a hundred articles right now to prove my point.”

“News flash: not everything is about winning an argument or proving a point. Jeez Louise you’re not even a lawyer.”

“You know what your problem is?”

“No I don’t, but I’m dying to find out.”

“You romanticize everything. Things are complicated, dangerous even, you need to be able to look at life through a clear, rational lens. There is no room for being a romantic.”

“But is there room for being a New Romantic? Like Spandau Ballet?”

“I’m being serious.”

“No, you’re being irritating. Who are you to go off on what you perceive to be my problem? Did God quit and put you in charge?”

“You know I don’t believe in God, religion is the opium of the people.”

“Ya, ya, Karl Marx – what are you, a first year philosophy student?Anyway, if we’re gonna argue, I would argue that now more than ever there’s a need for Romanticism. The world is desperate for it. The universe is asking us to look at each other through softer, sepia-toned lenses and to not be so binary. To come together, recite poetry, eat cake and drink wine. It wants to hear us roar with laughter and moan in ecstasy. The world isn’t interested in your clear rational lens right now, it’s desperate to be softly petted like you would pet your beloved dog. It’s hurting – the world is fucking hurting. It needs love and tenderness to help it get back on track.”

“That’s the biggest load of Instagram-y horse shit that I’ve ever heard. It actually scares me that you think like that. When we first met I thought you were an intelligent woman, even a bit of a nerd. But now it’s like you’re a sage burning, crystal wearing, astrology-believer. What happened to you?”

“I’ve actually always been this way, you just chose not to see it. And a person can be smart and burn sage, the two are not mutually exclusive.”

“But they are mutually exclusive. A smart person would never believe that burning a few leaves would clear out negative energy, because that same smart person would never believe in the idea of negative energy.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Just okay. Like we have four more hours in this car together so I’m gonna peace out of this conversation and put some music on.”

“Fine.”

“I’ve got a new playlist that I made last week, it’s really good.”

“What the hell is this?!”

“It’s an 80’s compilation of New Romantic music.”

“You are unbelievable.”

“I know. Thanks.”