CHAPTER ONE
“Mom, I wanna get a perm.”
“Absolutely not. You have curly hair. Perms are not for curly-haired girls.”
“But I want ringlets like Lisa Bonet.”
“Lisa is a beautiful young woman and you’re a beautiful young woman. Embrace what you have.”
“But you get perms.”
“Exactly. I get perms because I have straight hair, that’s who perms are for.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair. Embrace that concept too.”
“What if I use my own money?”
“You’re welcome to fry your hair on your own dime, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Okay. I’m calling your salon to see if they can squeeze me in today.”
“Jesus.”
CHAPTER TWO
“Mom, can you come pick me up? I’m finished at the salon.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Are you okay? Your voice sounds weird.”
“I look like Mr. Vanderhosen’s poodle.”
“Oh sweetie I’m sure it’s not that bad. We’ll figure out some styling options. See you soon.”
CHAPTER THREE
“Oh wow, it is pretty bad. Yikes. At least it’s big though – you wanted big, right?”
“I wanted big and ringlets! Not big and frizz! You’re gonna have to homeschool me because I’m not leaving the house until this perm is out of my hair. What if I wash it like twenty times? Would that get the chemicals out? Stop laughing mom, it’s not funny!”
“Should we get Dairy Queen? I feel like this is a Dairy Queen moment.”
“This is a cigarette moment mom.”
“Well I’m a liberal mother, but I’m not giving you a cigarette just because you don’t like your hair. You’ll have to steal one from me like a regular teenager. Do you want a hot fudge sundae?”
“Sure, a hot fudge sundae and maybe a large hat.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“What if we use gel, like a lot of gel, and slick the whole thing back into a low braid like Sade wears? You already have big hoop earrings – you’ll look beautiful. We’ll stop by the drugstore on our way home and pick up some supplies.”
“There’s not enough gel in the universe to slick this hair back. You better brush up on your algebra skills because homeschooling starts Monday.”
“Darling I hate to break it to you but there is no way in hell that I’m homeschooling you, that’s for granola moms – which I’m not. Call Jenny, she’ll know how to help.”
“What about boarding school? Can you and Dad afford boarding school? Just ship me off somewhere. I don’t want Mark to see me like this.”
“Who’s Mark? Haven’t heard a wink about him. I thought you liked Todd.”
“I found out Todd is in the Young Republicans, so he’s out. I told him I only date Democrats or Independents. Mark just moved here from New York – like Manhattan New York. He’s super cool. But if he sees me like this he’ll never ask me out.”
“Why don’t you start a trend? A big perm frizz-head trend.”
“Not funny mom.”
“I’m serious. How do you think trends get started? With one brave and fashion-forward person. Do it. It can be like a social experiment, maybe you can get extra credit for it in school if you write a paper.”
“You’re insane.”
“Oh I’m loving this idea sweetie. I’ll help you with it. The key is to act like you meant to get your hair done like this. Commit to it 100%. Strut those hallways like you’re Cindy or Naomi—
“Stop it mom.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“Love, open the door. You’ve been in there for a long time. I don’t have a good feeling about this. I think you might be making a bad situation worse. What’s that sound? Is that your father’s electric razor?”
“Mom, chill. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Do you like it? I think it’s cool, very New Wave. I shaved off the left side with dad’s razor and then I chopped off like seven inches from the right side – it’s an asymmetrical bob.”
“I can see that. Well done love, it’s very…asymmetrical.”
CHAPTER SIX
“Dave, don’t say anything about Jess’s hair.”
“Why, what happened?”
“Hi Dad. I used your electric razor, hope you don’t mind.”
“Wow. Um…very cool Jess. Very London UK.”
“That’s what I was going for! Like on that fashion television show where they interview cool kids in Paris, London and New York – that was my inspiration.”
“Well, you totally nailed it. Was that the doorbell? I’ll get it. Are we expecting anyone?”
“No, Jenny is away for the weekend. Maybe it’s our creepy neighbour.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Jess, you’ve got a visitor.”
“Be right there.”
“So Mark, you go to school with Jess? You have a NY accent, did you just move here?”
“Ya. My dad got transferred. Kind of feel like I’m living in a twilight zone episode in this town, it’s so different. But your daughter is super cool sir.”
“I agree, she is super cool.”
“Mark?! Hi! Oh my god what a surprise, come on in. It’s okay Dad, I’ve got it from here.”
“Your hair looks rad Jess.”
“Really? Thanks. The hairdresser ruined it so I had fix it myself. It’s not too much is it?”
“No. It’s very downtown cool, very Soho. Hey, I brought you a couple copies of The Village Voice, you seemed really interested in NY.”
“Wow, thanks! Can I get you something to eat or drink?”
“I’ll take a coffee with sugar if you have it.”
“How about a coffee with Bailey’s Irish Cream? It’s so good.”
“Cool. Your parents let you drink?”
“No they don’t, but they won’t notice.”
“You’re funny. Can I help you?”
“Grab that box of cookies, they go really well with coffee and follow me upstairs.”
“Okay.”
“I gotta warn you, my room is a total freaking disaster right now.”
“No problem. I don’t trust people who have really clean rooms, they’re like psychopaths.”
“Totally. Let’s open the windows, then we can smoke.”
“Jesus, Bailey’s in coffee is fucking good.”
“My grandma introduced me to it, she’s the best. Whenever she takes care of me, like when my parents go away, she lets me have wine with dinner. How are you liking Brownsville? It must seem kinda lame compared to Manhattan.”
“Ya, at first I totally freaked out. I mean you need fake id to drink, the record stores sell almost no Punk, there’s no decent Chinese food…”
“I can hook you up with a fake id. I know this guy Jeremy who makes them, he charges ten bucks.”
“Oh right on man, thanks Jess. By the way, you’re not dating that Todd guy are you?”
“Todd The Republican? Oh my God no. I mean he supports Reagan for fucks sake.”
“Oh good. Cause I was wondering…do you wanna see a movie next weekend? Hitchcock’s The Birds is playing at The Revival Cinema.”
“Ya, I would love to. I’ve never seen a Hitchcock film, which I know is totally lame. But if we’re going to a movie together I need to ask you an important question.”
“What?”
“Do you eat popcorn before or during the movie?”
“Before, like during the previews. I’m not a complete asshole. I can’t stand when people are making loud crunching noises during the movie. Drives me fucking batshit.”
“Oh thank God. Okay then, we’re definitely on for next weekend. Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
sparkledame 