“It’s 70 degrees today. Not normal for March.”
“I know, isn’t it lovely? I’m getting a little color on my face.”
“It’s global fucking warming, it’s not lovely.”
“Oh Jesus, so now we can’t enjoy a sunny day?”
“Your generation ruined everything. Our planet is dying, there’s no affordable housing and the government is corrupt.”
“Every generation thinks like that. And by the way, we didn’t exactly have it easy: we had Reagan, the AIDS epidemic, multiple recessions and teal eyeliner.”
“Whatever.”
“What is up with you today?”
“What is up with me? Well, I’m a little upset that we’re taking part in a genocide, that a wannabe dictator might be running for President & that our parks are full of people living in tents.”
“You need to have sex. Your energy would be more balanced if you were having regular orgasms. Your father and I have more sex than you do.”
“Why can’t you be a normal mother?”
“A spring fling would lighten you up. What about that guy over there? He’s cute AND he’s reading an actual hardcover book. Old school.”
“Mom, stop it, I’m not up to any of your shenanigans today.”
“That’s your problem: you need more shenanigans in your life. You’re young. Your life should be overflowing with shenanigans. Plus he’s totally checking you out right now.”
“Mom, I beg you, for the love of God just stop it.”
“Alright alright, but listen: you gotta get rid of this gloomcore vibe, it’s not going to get you anywhere. And it’s bad for your skin, you’re getting frown lines.”
“Thanks, like I don’t feel shitty enough. I’m telling dad that you told me to get Botox.”
“For someone who didn’t go to theatre school you’re a real drama queen. I know the world is fucked up, I get it. It’s terrifying. But you still need – and deserve – to experience joy. You still need to fall in love. You still need to feel the sun on your face and rejoice at the freckles it brings out on your nose.”
“So I should just “shake it off” like Taylor says?”
“Exactly. Just fucking shake it off and start living your life despite the gloomcore of it all.
Live big.
Live madly.
Live every color of the rainbow.”
“Fine. FINE. I’m going to ask the cute guy what book he’s reading. How’s that for living big?”
“It’s a damn good start my love. Go forth and copulate.”
sparkledame 