“Do you mind if I tag along to church with you this Sunday?”
“Umm, no of course not. Except what the fuck? Why are you suddenly interested in going to church?”
“Because like George Michael says, ‘I gotta have faith.’ And I have none. So I need to find some.”
Sipping her Bordeaux Carrie eyed her friend with suspicion.
“Are you microdosing? Are you on shrooms right now?” she asked.
“No I’m not on shrooms. I’m completely sober – other than this wine. I’m just feeling really lost and like the opposite of grounded. What’s the opposite of grounded? Flailing? I’m flailing. And I feel scared about everything. I need to believe that things are going to be okay. I need to have faith.”
“I totally hear you and I support you. But, please know that you’re not going to suddenly feel a deep sense of faith from going to one Unitarian Church service. It’s not like the Minister waves a magic wand.”
“Wouldn’t it be cool if she did though?”
They both laughed.
“No confession booths in the Unitarian Church right? Which is too bad. I’ve always wanted to go into one of those.”
“Ya but it would take you too long to confess all your sins. The priest would probably cut you off and kick you out.”
“Ha!”
“Having faith is kind of like having a garden, you need to tend to it regularly with love and intention, otherwise it withers away. At least that’s been my experience with it.”
“Do you think some people can have faith and others can’t? I’m worried I’m one of those people for whom faith will remain elusive. I feel like in order to have faith you kind of already have to believe that it’s possible and I’m not sure I do.”
“Well hello Miss Self-Sabotage, nice to meet you. Anyone is capable of having faith, but you need to be open to receiving it. And if you’ve never been to church before, then even my religiously liberal one is going to feel weird at first. But don’t reject it right away, give it a second date you know? First dates are always awkward.”
“How did you get so wise?”
“I’m not wise. I just spent a month’s rent on a pair of shoes. That’s the opposite of wise.”
Carrie and Jen fell into one of those fits of snorting laughter that was hard to stop. The people sitting next to them were seething with irritation, which only made them laugh more.
“What do I wear? Do I dress chaste?”
“You’re hilarious. Just wear what you’re comfortable in. Most people look sort of casual Friday-ish, but some get a little more dressed up. It’s totally up to you. I mean I wouldn’t show up in a body-con dress, but other than that…”
“I’ll wear that new floral midi-dress I bought, the one with poufy sleeves.”
“Unitarian-chic, love it. Let’s toast:
‘To you my dear precious flailing friend – may you find faith – one way or another. May you remember that you are beloved and if worse comes to worse, I can have faith for the both of us. Don’t worry.’”
“Thanks babe.”
sparkledame 