“I think I might be having a breakdown.”
“Really? What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m overwhelmed all the time. My nerves are frayed. I feel like screaming and crying, but instead all I do is eat cookies.”
“Oh that’s normal, that’s just like – you know, life.”
“You have got to be kidding.”
“Now if you said you felt like jumping off the roof of your building then I might be worried, that might put you more in the breakdown category.”
“Great, thanks.”
“What does your therapist say?”
“She’s away at a self-actualization retreat.”
“For how long?”
“A month.”
“Excuse me? That’s fucked up.”
“It did seem a little long.”
“Have you talked with your family doctor?”
“She’s only allowed fifteen minutes per patient, that’s not a lot of time to get into things. But she suggested using a seasonal affective disorder lamp and taking more vitamin D.”
“Right.”
“What if I turn into one of those crazy women who wanders the streets jibber-jabbering?”
“I’m not going to let my best friend live on the streets, you can jibber-jabber at my place. In fact, I just put a new bed in the basement guest room.”
“Okay, well everyone needs a back up plan, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So you think I’m okay? Like I’m not emotionally unraveling?”
“I didn’t say that. I think you are emotionally unraveling.”
“Oh.”
“But I think emotionally unraveling is good. You know like when your necklaces get all jumbled together and stuck in a giant knot? And you have to sit down and slowly untangle each piece from the other? Right now you’re that knot. But as you unravel yourself you will re-discover all the beautiful gemstones that were hiding in the tangled mess. And you will sparkle again. You will sparkle like a motherfucker.”
sparkledame 