“I can’t breathe.”
“You’re breathing.”
“No, I’m not. Call 911.”
“You’re having a panic attack.”
“I know I’m having a panic attack, don’t you think I know I’m having a panic attack?”
“Well if you know you’re having a panic attack then you know that it’ll be over soon.”
“That’s not helpful. Being rational is useless during a panic attack.
“You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I can’t stop shaking and my teeth are chattering.”
Marissa took three Xanax.
“Jesus! Don’t gobble those up they’re not candies!”
“Don’t yell at me! I can’t breathe. And these pills are only .5 milligrams each – one pill does nothing.”
Mark sighed.
“I have to change out of my nightgown, when the paramedics arrive I need to be properly dressed.”
“The paramedics are not coming, you’re breathing. You’re going to be fine. Come here.”
Mark grabbed Marissa and held her from behind, wrapping his arms across her chest.
“You’re choking me.”
He lowered his arms.
“Ok that feels better, thanks. But my teeth are chattering, I’m scared.”
“Open your mouth wide.”
“Why?”
“If you open your mouth wide your teeth won’t be able to chatter.”
“Oh good idea, thanks,” said Marissa.
With her mouth open and Mark holding her, Marissa moved her body slowly side to side. The repetitive motion helped to soothe her.
“I’m getting aroused.”
“What?!” cried Marissa.
“You’re moving back and forth against my crotch, what did you expect?”
“Oh My God – sorry!”
They both started laughing.
“I can’t laugh, it’ll make the attack worse.”
Marissa adjusted her body so that she was moving back and forth along Mark’s thigh instead.
“FYI: I won’t have the energy to do anything about your arousal. After my panic attacks I’m always completely drained.”
“I didn’t expect you to, I’m not a complete ogre.”
“I’m freezing.”
“You’re actually not cold, it’s just your psyche fucking with you.”
“Alright. I’m going to pace around the kitchen for awhile. The movement calms me.”
“Okay but where’s your cell phone? I don’t want you calling the paramedics.”
“I won’t,” said Marissa with her mouth wide open.
“Remember that Yakity Yak clattering teeth toy? Do they still sell those? I want one.”
“I’ll look online now,” said Mark, sitting down with his laptop.
Marissa continued pacing back and forth while wringing her hands like they’d just been stung by bees.
“This is a good look, isn’t it? I’ve never felt more unattractive in my life.”
“You’re beautiful. Even when you’re panic-attacking you’re breathtakingly beautiful.”
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Did you find the Yakity Yak teeth?”
“I did, I’m ordering them now.”
“Thanks. I think the drugs are kicking in, I feel like I can breathe again.”
“Yakity Yak Yay!” cried Mark.
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